Christmas Gifts: What's A 3-Gift Christmas For Kids?

Makenzy Smith says she is “big on Christmas” — but her kids won't find much under the tree.

The mom, whose sons are 4, and 6, expressed her “unpopular opinion” about Christmas gifts, or lack thereof, in a TikTok video: “I want my kids to look back on their Christmases and ... think about their family surrounding them, these wonderful, magical meals together ... looking at Christmas lights ... I want to make all these moments magical but I don’t want to revolve things around ... gifts.”

“My husband and I are not big gift givers,” Smith, a photographer and videographer in Washington, tells TODAY.com, adding, “We try to show our kids how other ways of loving can look.”

Smith is one parent who is paring down holiday shopping lists (sometimes down to zero) for cost reasons or to avoid exhaustion and overconsumption. Some families exchange physical presents for “experience gifts” (a zoo or museum membership or “a year of family adventures”) or winter vacations.

“My kids get three Christmas presents,” a mom who goes by “Peaceful World Schooler” said on TikTok. “If three presents was enough for Jesus, it is definitely good enough for us.” The mom said gifts for her children are inspired by the Three Wise Men: “gold” (something valuable like a bike or a video game console), “frankincense” (something that strengthens their faith such as a toy nativity set) and “myrrh” (something for their bodies like clothing or sports classes).

“As a single mom, I knew that I didn’t want my children to become materialistic and obsessed with all the things,” she said in her video.

These families seem happy without the bells and whistles of Christmas and other families on TikTok have followed their example. Sometimes, however, they’re accused of Grinch-like behavior.

“A lot of people said that I was ruining my kids’ Christmas joy and that they would be ridiculed by friends at school, feel left out and be upset ... when they got older and realized that I ‘robbed’ them of the joy of Santa,” Smith tells TODAY.com. “It got dark.”

Smith’s children each receive one Christmas gift “from Santa” (such as puzzles or Legos), while grandparents give practical presents like pajamas or books. Smith doesn’t discourage others from buying for her children, though she doesn’t like toys with excessive packaging or multiple accessories.

“I’d rather play with my kids or read them a book or take a walk together than open something they’ll quickly lose interest in,” Smith tells TODAY.com.

Smith says she wants her children to learn the true spirit of Christmas after a childhood she calls “spoiled.”

“One Christmas when I was 9, my mom took me to a soup kitchen ... and told me to pack up a big garbage bag full of toys I didn’t want for kids less fortunate,” recalls Smith. “I threw the biggest fit because I had no concept that anyone had less than me.”

Inspired, Smith later donated her other toys. When she had children, she noticed they were unimpressed by gifts from their grandmother.

“They would ask, ‘Where’s my surprise?’ and my mom didn’t like that — but the standard had been set,” says Smith.

The mom says her children already own expensive sports equipment, books and puzzles and a backyard trampoline. If they want something indulgent, she says, they earn money through chores to buy it.

Smith tells TODAY.com that when she posted about her Christmas rule in 2022, “It went to the negative side of TikTok,” adding, “Some people said that I would realize what I had done when my kids turn 18 and never visit home again.”

Florida mom Heather Castillo limits her daughters, ages 19, 15, and 11, to four Christmas gifts each: “Something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.”

One year, Castillo and her husband (who are Jewish and Christian, respectively), realized their combined holidays resulted in gift overload. Then, she heard about the “4 Gift Christmas” TikTok trend, which balances wants and needs.

“Kids love something for three minutes and then forget about it,” Castillo tells TODAY.com. “We were wasting so much money.”

Castillo says her “four-gift Christmas” caps spending, overindulgence and stress.

Castillo’s daughters write Hanukkah-Christmas lists for each of the four categories. Past Christmasses have bestowed body scrubs, a reading light, a bookshelf, an art sketchbook, an Xbox and driving lessons.

One year, a video of Castillo’s daughter opening a coveted Pokémon-themed toothbrush “caused a lot of drama,” she says.

“My daughter was, and still is, obsessed with Pokémon,” says Castillo "I thought it was a great present but everyone ripped into me.”

Responses on TikTok included: “Something they need is not a gift, it’s your responsibility as a parent” and “Better to not do Christmas gifts at all, at this rate.”

The (over)reaction inspired Castillo to “troll the trolls” by giving her daughters toothbrushes for Christmas the following year.

Castillo says younger people on TikTok usually don’t like her tradition. Most adults, she says, understand how Christmas can overwhelm families.

“They know how much money and time it costs,” says Castillo. “They say, ‘That’s a really good idea. I’m doing that next year.’”

Elise Solé is a writer and editor who lives in Los Angeles and covers parenting for TODAY Parents. She was previously a news editor at Yahoo and has also worked at Marie Claire and Women's Health. Her bylines have appeared in Shondaland, SheKnows, Happify and more.